Today we had breakfast with Santa. It was a lot of fun this year. All week anytime we saw a Santa I would make a big deal about him and Kohen would say "ho ho ho". At the breakfast he wasn't so sure about Santa until I put him on his lap and told Kohen to tell Santa hi. He sat on his lap smiled and just stared at him. Kohen got a candy cane. About 5 minutes later when he was done with his mini candy cane he climbed back in his lap and got another candy cane. He got up in his lap a total of 5 times. He's no longer afraid of Santa. Can't wait to take him to the mall Santa. I was really dreading taking him because I wasn't sure how he was going to react. I am so excited that he loves Santa. Now to teach him the meaning of Christmas! On the 21st the little man and I will be on our way to spend two weeks in Colorado. I love spending Christmas with my family. After Christmas my family and I are going to go up to the mountains and spend about a week up there. I am so ready for that! A vacation, some me time so ready for it. A bit sad and disappointed that my hubby wont be joining us though.
In the beginning of our journey I was told by so many that it’s gets easier I’m not going to lie it doesn’t get easier you just find a new normal. It’s an illusion that’s it’s easier. You still have the stress, endless doctors appointments, therapy appointments, medication changes, routines that are being changed, new people coming in and out of your lives friendships that come and go etc. My anxiety attacks are no longer happening multiple times a day for no rhyme or reason (I can’t tell you the last time I had one actually 🙌🏻 also knocking on some wood right now) I had made a post the other day about being worried when I dropped Kaiya off at school. I surprisingly have had very little anxiety through this process this year. Last spring completely different story. I have come to the realization that for the most part whatever happens to Kaiya is out of my hands. I can do everything within my power to protect her and she may still one day be taken from me before I w...

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