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Faith and Fear

In the beginning of our journey I was told by so many that it’s gets easier I’m not going to lie it doesn’t get easier you just find a new normal. It’s an illusion that’s it’s easier. You still have the stress, endless doctors appointments, therapy appointments, medication changes, routines that are being changed, new people coming in and out of your lives friendships that come and go etc. 
My anxiety attacks are no longer happening multiple times a day for no rhyme or reason (I can’t tell you the last time I had one actually 🙌🏻 also knocking on some wood right now) 
I had made a post the other day about being worried when I dropped Kaiya off at school. I surprisingly have had very little anxiety through this process this year. Last spring completely different story. I have come to the realization that for the most part whatever happens to Kaiya is out of my hands. I can do everything within my power to protect her and she may still one day be taken from me before I would like. I have accepted that she will have many many people in and out of her life always. I can choose to sit and be miserable wondering about the what’s if’s or praise that she is doing this well that she’s able to attend school. And I will pray for the staff that watches over her and her classmates who will be in contact with her. 

Do you know what has changed over time? My fear. I don’t let my fear control me. 
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”
II Timothy 1:7 NKJV  
There is no room for fear in our hearts, don’t let it have power!  Every time I let fear in I let that anger take over I cry I vent. I PRAY. He assures me always that He is taking care of it, that there is no room for fear. God is constantly working in all areas in our lives. He will never abandon us. 
I remember one of the first scriptures Kohen memorized was Deuteronomy 31:6

“Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid, for the LORD your God is the one who goes with you. He will not fail you or forsake you."”  There is a reason for that. He wants us to always remember He is with us, we have no reason to fear as long as we remain faithful. 

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